The Glee Journals
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: The kids are each given a diary to keep, where they are to write about their lives and their last few weeks at McKinley High. And what they wish to share, is completely up to them   how do you summary tho? I apologize for my lack in that department.


**A/N:** Okay, so this is just some random drabble.  
>I recently re-read<em> The Brimstone Journals<em> when this idea came to me, go ahead, judge away ;)  
>Also I set it to Brittany and Santana, because... reasons. But there's Faberry, Samcedes, Tike (mention of Finchel and Bartie. Shhh) I have no idea what the fuck this even is. But hey, enjoy it anyway! <p>

* * *

><p><strong>The Glee Journals<br>**

**Puck**  
>It used to be my dad's, he left it behind when he skipped town. I guess in his own mind, he thought that it would somehow make up for his mistakes. It's a '62 Fender Jaguar.<br>He lived for that guitar, never under any circumstances was I allowed to touch it.  
>Now that he's gone, I figure it doesn't matter anymore, because his rules no longer apply.<p>

I'm always reminded of him, every time I pluck the strings.  
>My sister will scrunch her nose and cover her ears. She's afraid that he'll walk in one day, she's afraid of what'd he would do then.<br>She's simply afraid.

**Santana  
><strong>I don't think I deserve to be Brittany's best friend. I know I am, but… sometimes it feels like she found me at a time in my life when I needed her the most.

Like I was a drifter and she saw me, she chose me and took me home with her.  
>I don't know why, but I love it.<br>I love her.

There will be times when I sleep over and she'll step out of her clothes during our conversation. She's just that comfortable around me. She has this tiny birthmark under her left breast.  
>If I'm a lesbian, my dad is going to kill me.<p>

**Finn  
><strong>We're # 1!  
>Never will they be able to take that away from us! Everybody loves us, the girls, teachers, everybody.<br>It's just me, my letterman jacket, standing in the middle of the field with my boys. There's no other greater feeling! And Rachel, she will do whatever it takes to stay my girlfriend.  
>Whatever it takes!<p>

****

**Rachel****  
><strong>Finn is driving me crazy with this 5-year plan of his. College, jobs, kids, dog, car, a house with a white picket fence. It's not funny. I have a dream and I guess he's not a part of that dream anymore.

**  
>Brittany<br>**He stumbles through the door at 2 A.M. I'm just finishing up 'Night of the Living Dead' for the tenth time.  
>He's still buzzed and sometimes it makes him act like he cares.<br>He goes to get me a beer. _'Things will change, I'll change.'_ He says. _'I'll make sure of it. From now on, there will always be a packed lunch for you to brin__g to school. I'll use that healthy whole-wheat bread you like so much.'  
><em>The pony I wanted when I was 8?  
>It's mine.<br>It takes all the strength I have not to scream at him, call him out on his bullshit. No matter how much I want it to be true, I know it's not. He knows it, he sees it in my eyes.  
>His hand connects with my cheek.<br>Here we go again. After he calls me stupid about five times, I bounce.  
>I run and I don't stop running, I run until my mind is clear of his face, his lies, and his constant betrayals.<br>Until I stop wanting to kill him…

****

**Puck**  
>I'm at Target with mom, loading up the shopping cart with back to school shit neither me or my sister needs.<p>

Moms works days and occasionally manages to pick up extra night shifts, when she tells her sob stories, about how her husband left her and how she can't provide for her bastard children.  
>We're not poor, we're doing alright.<br>Whatever she says about him, he's still my dad.

**Rachel ****  
><strong>Finn called me and I didn't answer.  
>He called me again, when I didn't answer the second time he kept calling and never stopped. It's Saturday night; do you know where your girlfriend is?<br>I like Finn more when I don't see him as much. So what if I don't see him at all then, would that make me love him?

****

**Mike**  
>My dad's dreams for me, are like a box I cannot put down.<p>

****

**Santana****  
><strong>She's all I think about. I love her. I'm _in_ love with her.  
>Whenever she hugs me, I get a tingling sensation in my stomach, butterflies.<br>My knees buckle at the mere sight of her.  
><em>I love her<em>.

****

**Tina****  
><strong>I see myself differently. People tell me I'm pretty and smart. But what does that even mean?  
>I look in the mirror and I don't see what they see. I'm fat. I hide behind my clothes.<br>All I see is fat.  
>I hate it.<p>

****

**Brittany**  
>If he comes into my room again. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!<p>

****

**Mercedes****  
><strong>I'm 17, look 21. I like guys, but they don't seem to notice me at all.

****

**Quinn****  
><strong>Daddy says God talks to us, but our minds are too cluttered to hear. I've been taught to, that in any stressful situation, to count to ten, breathe and ask myself; what would Jesus do? I've never gotten an answer.  
>Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I can't see him. <em>'What would Jesus do?'<em>

****

**Rachel****  
><strong>I did it. I broke up with Finn, to be able to chase my dream, on my own.

****

**Mike****  
><strong>All my parents ever do is scream at each other, every now and then my dad will break some of mom's china. That's when I head up stairs and put my headphones on.

****

**Tina****  
><strong>Sometimes I have dreams about being thin. To be honest, I have them all of the time.  
>I imagine myself levitating.<br>One day, I'm going to fly away from here.

****

**Artie****  
><strong>Everyone I hang out with says Brittany's fluid, that she can't be had.  
>I say she can.<p>

****

**Brittany****  
><strong>I'm in school and Miss Holliday is reading us something about some girl who died and is stuck in limbo.  
>She wants us to write a paper on our idea of heaven.<br>Maybe there, parents stay together more than ten fucking minutes.  
>So I keep on fighting, whether it be fighting in this life, or fighting to go to heaven.<p>

****

**Quinn****  
><strong>Today that troll Puck carved in '666' into his desk and blasted AC/DC's 'Highway to Hell'.  
>Our homeroom teacher gave him two months' worth of detention. Tina whispered to me in the hall; <em>I don't think we'll be seeing him during the rapture.<em>_  
><em>****

**Mike****  
><strong>He's always telling me what I can and cannot do. He doesn't know how to be a parent, he contradicts himself and lashes out at me for voicing my opinion. Tina understands, her dad is the same.

****

**Brittany****  
><strong>I was on the computer last night, talking to Santana, when he came up behind me and did that "friendly back rub"  
>He's always sneaking up on me, watching me, touching me.<br>He's just always there.

****

**Tina****  
><strong>Thank god I was able to get out of the cookout.  
>They'd make me eat.<p>

****

**Mercedes****  
><strong>I feel like I'm drowning; life, school and all of a sudden, guys.  
>Guys whose names I can't even remember.<p>

****

**Santana**  
>Rules, rules, rules. There are always rules. Everywhere you go, people will want you to follow them. But rules were clearly made to be broken. If you tell me I can't do something, I'm gonna go out of my way to do it.<p>

****

**Sam****  
><strong>Hasn't anybody in this town ever seen a southern white boy with really big lips? Today in Glee club, Santana called me guppy face and proceeded to make up an entire song right there on the spot, in front of everybody.  
>Trouty Mouth.<br>She's hot and all, so I guess I don't mind.

****

**Quinn**  
>Last Sunday at church, reverend Wright said that the antichrist does not disguise himself with horns and tail, but that he in fact is someone very beautiful.<br>I think it might be Puck.  
>He's the hottest guy in school and he's a jerk.<br>The other day the teacher made him read a poem.  
>His voice.<br>I didn't want to listen, but my ears failed me, I didn't want to stare, yet my eyes could not look away.

****

**Rachel****  
><strong>I went to the movies with Quinn. We stayed through the credits, all of them. When the screen went black and the theatre empty, I caught her smiling in the corner of my eye.  
>Without a warning, I placed my hand on hers, she froze.<br>We just sat there in the dark.  
>Suddenly she burst out laughing.<br>Her laugh is so contagious.  
>When I got home, dad said Finn called.<br>Three times.

****

**Brittany****  
><strong>We make plans and we go out to eat. When she opens her mouth to speak to me, I black out. I keep my hands in my pockets and nod. Otherwise my voice, my hands, everything shakes. But then she slides in the booth next to me, puts her hand on my thigh.  
>So I shake a little, because it will be worth it.<p>

****

**Artie****  
><strong>I told Brittany what she wanted to hear.  
>It was way too easy.<p>

****

**Santana****  
><strong>I told her and she freaked out. She said; _I'm not like you, I'm not gay._Well neither am I. I don't think. I'm just San, in love with Brittany.

****

**Quinn****  
><strong>Rachel is cute.  
>In movies when couples are about to have sex, the camera pans over to some weird painting, of something completely irrelevant. When Rachel and I … when we. It wasn't like that.<br>It wasn't awkward. It was natural.  
>I wanted to keep my bra on, she said that was okay. My favorite part was when she kissed me.<br>Jesus will forgive me for my sins. I am sure of this.

****

**Sam****  
><strong>I don't know how to fit in, I can't impress people. I tell them I make great celeb impersonations, they laugh. I speak Nav'i, they think I'm mentally challenged.  
>It doesn't exactly help that I've seen <em>Avatar<em> 6 times.  
>Santana talks to me, but it's like she's trying to make someone jealous.<p>

****

**Brittany****  
><strong>I was gonna drop out of school until Santana told me that I was a fighter. That I was a soldier, a warrior, an amazon. It made me change my mind.  
>I'll march to school every day, to show her that I'm no quitter.<p>

****

**Sam****  
><strong>I guess we like each other. She says she can be herself around me. That she doesn't have to be Aretha 24/7.

****

**Santana**  
>I saw her with Artie and I just want to kill myself.<p>

****

**Quinn ****  
><strong>Where was god that night in Rachel's room?

****

**Brittany **  
>I saw her with Sam. My mind is conflicted. I like Santana and I like Artie. It's like sweet and sour, how am I supposed to choose?<br>We will hands. Under one condition she says, it has to be under a napkin.

****

**Tina****  
><strong>I've always said that one day, I will fly away from this town and now I finally am.****

**Rachel****  
><strong>We're together all the time, Quinn and I. But come fall, she knows that I will be leaving for New York and she tells me she's okay with that.**  
><strong>I don't think I can leave her.  
><strong><br>******

**Mercedes****  
><strong>Sam is so sweet. We can sit in silence for hours, we don't always have to be talking to enjoy each other's company. I don't know what we are, and I know that whatever we have, he wants more of.  
>I figured college will be a good place to start over.<br>Start fresh.  
>Sam knows that I'm going and he's not.<br>We just don't talk about it.

****

**Santana**  
>I told my mom.<br>The first thing she did was cry. Then I start to cry and tell her about Brittany.  
>She just gets her keys and points to the car; <em>where are we going?<em> I ask.  
>I know what's coming next: what kind of daughter she's raised, how disgusted she is and where the money for therapy is going to come from.<br>Instead she tells me how proud she is and how she wasn't always been a mom. I look at her and she just shrugs.

****

**Mike**  
>I'm going to Juilliard.<p>

****

**Brittany****  
><strong>They brought in a counselor. She's a ginger and looks like Bambi. Kind of cute but it doesn't matter. What matters is, she listens. I tell her about Santana, she looked at me and said: _go on_. And I do, I tell her about what he was doing, she said: _oh honey_. She wrote down everything I said. Someone cares. Someone besides San.

****

**Puck****  
><strong>Graduation. I used to hang out with a lot of people. Now days, I'm pretty much alone. I don't know what to do with my life, there's no real plan, I just go with it. Seize the day, right?  
>Whatever happens, happens. There's still hope. Rachel liked me once.<br>Somebody else might too.


End file.
